


because you left

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 4x08, Episode Related, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian asks Mickey why he came to the Gallagher house after Svetlana kicked him out. </p>
<p>Missing scene from 4x08.</p>
            </blockquote>





	because you left

**Author's Note:**

> Posted originally at my [tumblr. ](http://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/post/86599901226/fic-a-day-in-may-day-twenty-three)

Mickey sat on Ian’s bed looking around the kid’s room. He hadn’t ever been in here before and that thought made him upset. 

He’d tried to bring Ian into his life and this was just another painful reminder that he’d done a piss-poor job of it. He hadn’t even been in Ian’s fucking room. And they’d been fucking for a few years.

That thought gnawed at him. And he hated it.

But it shouldn’t matter now because he was here, and he was wanted, and Ian  _let_  him stay here. After they’d eaten dinner, Mickey had very nearly whispered that they could stay here. He hadn’t wanted to drag Ian away from his family when they just gotten to see him for the first time in months. Mickey had been with him for the past few days.

Ian had grinned and pulled Mickey in for a kiss. Mickey had never been so proud of a decision he’d made. Except maybe for starting with Gallagher in the first place.

Mickey rubbed at his head, remembering the blind panic clawing at his throat as he rushed to the Gallagher house from the Alibi after Svetlana told him Ian had left. And it had continued to claw at him as he paced around outside the Gallagher house trying to decide if he had the balls to knock and go inside.

He had been terrified that Ian had left him again and wasn’t that something else? Mickey Milkovich afraid that the boy he could possibly love left and he ran across the Southside to find him.

He glanced over at Ian who was still writing in that notebook. He had seemed genuinely shocked when Mickey gave him a blowjob—like Mickey wouldn’t do anything to prove to Ian that he was fucking trying. He was trying to be better for Ian, to be what Ian wanted.

But the words, they never seemed to want to come out.

Mickey could feel them, settling in in the back of his throat, trying to restrict his air. But it was a big thing to tell someone that they were afraid.

“You sleeping in my bed?” Ian asked with a smirk.

“Fuck off,” Mickey shot back. “None of that gay shit with your family around.” 

“You did have my dick in your mouth earlier,” Ian said.

Mickey’s mouth snapped closed. “Oh yeah? See if I do it again, firecrotch.”

Ian grabbed his wrist. “But you said—“

“I know what I fucking said,” Mickey told him. 

Ian moved his hand down to hold Mickey’s. “You okay?”

Mickey looked at him. “No.”

He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by Mickey’s admission.

“You wanna talk about it?” Ian asked, closing the notebook and turning to face him. He kept Mickey’s hand in his.

“What do you wanna talk about, huh? The fact that you just fucking left today without telling me? That apparently you crashed a helicopter. A fucking helicopter, before you went AWOL. I sucked your dick for the first time with your family right fucking downstairs. Or that I’m the fucking reason you left and your stupid brother knows it too.”  It just popped out. He had been angry and scared and frustrated and everything came out in a rush.

Ian was quiet for a few minutes. It made Mickey want to snatch his hand away and run back to his house—because he  _always_  fucking ran when it came to Gallagher. But Ian tightened his grip, maybe sensing that Mickey was ready to flee.

“That was your first blow job?” Ian asked.

Mickey started at him but could feel the corners of his mouth threatening to turn up. “Fuck you.” 

Ian laughed, full and loud, throwing his head back and everything. Mickey could only watch because Ian hadn’t looked that happy in a long time.

Then Ian pushed himself forward, effectively pushing Mickey onto the bed and landing on top of him. Ian kissed him their hands still sort of tangled together.  And then Ian’s lips were on his jaw and neck and then back to his mouth. Mickey could only surrender, only wanted to surrender to Ian.

“I didn’t want to leave this morning,” Ian whispered when he pulled back. He laid down facing Mickey and rested their hands on Mickey’s stomach. “Your wife—“ 

“Stop fucking calling her that!” Mickey snapped. Ian squeezed his hand and moved closer. Mickey pretended he didn’t notice.

“Svetlana told me to leave. So I did. I figured I’d catch you at the Alibi at the end of the day,” Ian told him.

“I shouldn’t have fucking left,” Mickey said.

“You hadn’t gone to work for a few days, Mick. You had to go.”

“Still. She shouldn’t have fucking kicked you out. I told you you could stay,” Mickey said angrily.

“It’s her house,” Ian argued.

“It’s my fucking house!” Mickey took a breath because that’s not what this was about.

“I know,” Ian said quietly. “But you came to find me anyway.” 

“Of course I fucking did.” 

“Why?” Ian asked.

Mickey looked at him. “Because you left.”

“Yeah, Mick, I think we already said that,” Ian said. 

“I didn’t want you to go, okay?” All the things that he’d wanted to say were piling up in the back of his throat. “Because I missed you. When you were gone. Happy now?”

Ian face split into that stupid fucking smile that always seemed to make Mickey feel like he solved all the problems of the world. But he just tumbled forward, half on top of Mickey again and kissed him. 

But this time Mickey did push him away. “Your family could just walk in.”

Ian smiled and flopped himself on his back. “So?” 

Mickey just raised his eyebrows at him. Ian laughed. And somehow things just seemed and felt right. Like this was where he was supposed to be and who he was supposed to be with.

Maybe they’d just make it through this after all.


End file.
